And
by it, I mean my dick.
Intro music: "Coup De'Tat" by The Circle Jerks
Photos taken by: Herbert West
Animation by Winslow Leach
...When I woke up, I had the words "Peas" and "Corn" written on my fingers. An email address had been written across the entire length and width of my left arm. If only I could remember who's it was, and why it was written on my arm. Most of the night was a blur, only vague memories of certain moments is what I have to piece everything together. This is what happens when you get together 200 crazed and drunken horror fans, who all are partying for the late great and legendary Hunter S. Thompson. A party? More like a fucking end of the world bash. These are the events that unfolded on the night of February 26, 2005. It was suppose to be a simple showing of Punk Rock Holocaust, then a small afterparty to celebrate it's PA Premiere. But it ended up being so much more...
"What time does the movie start", Duda asked me. "Fucking 9 o'clock", I fired back. It was a little after 3:30, myself and three other friends (Duda, Zeik, Ash) were already making our way on the two hour trip. Figured we'd get an early jump on things, grab our hotel. something to eat, get high, make sure everything was in order for the night.
4:00 PM - The four of us smoke our first bowl. CDs are changed every two minutes and we hear every guitar solo ever recorded, or so it seems.
5:30 - 6:00 PM - Arrive in Scranton, eat at the world's smallest McDonalds, grab a $66 hotel room.
6:05 PM - Couldn't figure out how to turn the fucking
lights on in the hotel room. Had to go downstairs and get some help. Apparently
there was a switch we couldn't find. Yeh, we were high. The chick who helped
us out looked like a stoner chick. She wasn't amazingly hot or anything,
but she would have got it. And
by it, I mean my dick.
6:40 PM - Duda and myself make a beer run. While Zeik takes his third shit thanks to Chicken Selects.
8:10 PM - Pulled a rare stunt and blew some lines. Did the lines off of the DVD case of Deadly Spawn, thus christening it forever.
8:50 PM - Arrived at Endless Mountain Theatre. By this time I was already beyond fucked up. Between the bowls, lines, and the few beers I pounded, I was gone, and I never looked back.
"I'm on the VIP list" I told the woman selling tickets. "Name?" she replied. For a minute, I forgot. I was ready to say B Rocka, but I somehow knew that wasn't right. "Wunder" I finally managed to spit out. In my drunken state, the words were cautious not to come out. We had listened to the Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas soundtrack earlier. The audio bit of Johnny Depp saying, "This is bat country." played in my head over and over again. I think I even repeated the phrase a few times. "I'm sorry, you're not on the list." a voice said to me. It was the lady, I forgot I was still standing in line and there were people behind me. After a few minutes, everything managed to work itself out.
8:57 PM - Stumbeled into the theatre and made my way towards Spookydudes table of DVDs. I bullshited with Carrie (Blake AKA Dr. Zombie's girlfriend) for a few minutes, and gave her a copy of Inglorious Bastards so Blake could release it. Bought Monster Shark (Lamberto Bava), Body Count (Ruggero Deodato), Paganini Horror (Luigi Cozzi), & Tromdance Vol. 2.
9:33 PM - After projector problems, Punk Rock Holocaust finally begins.
Punk Rock Holocaust is a new-age slasher
film brought to us by Doug Sakmann, who had previously worked for Troma.
The slasher flick is about a killer running rampant on the 2003 Vans Warped
Tour, knocking off shitty bands and fans alike. This movie has the highest
body count in slasher film history, possibly the highest body count in any
movie ever. Over 113 band members meet their long overdue deaths, and entire
crowds of fans are massacred. Llyod Kaufman plays Bilal/Satan, the head
of a big-wig record company. He delivers some of the funniest dialouge I've
ever heard and deserved and Oscar nod for his performance. "Get the
fuck out of here. And then later, I'm gonna piss on you. I'm gonna fucking
piss all over you." It's no doubt that Kaufman was the true comedic
tone for this movie. Kevin Lyman, founder of the Warped Tour, is trying
to cover up all the deaths and keep things at bay. While (amazingly hot)
Journalist Heather Vantress, sees that something more is going on, and tries
to get to the bottom of it all.
The movie is bloody as hell and features some pretty damn good SFX. Overall, it was a great low budget slasher movie. Proof that these films didn't die with the 80's.
I didn't have the money to buy a copy of the DVD at the event. So I went up to Play It Again Music the other day to pick it up, but they were closed. I'll post an offical review when I get my hands on the DVD. There's just too much to digest in one theatrical sitting when you're drunk and stoned.
You can check out pics and more offical info from the homepage:
After the movie was finished, Director
Doug Sakmann took the front of the theatre for a Q&A. Most people didn't
know there was a Q&A following the film, and had left. The few of us
who were left, didn't have many questions. Things like "How much was
your budget?" and "How long did it take to film the movie?"
were asked. But then when nobody thought to say anything else, I asked the
only thing on my mind: "This is suppose to be a slasher film. So where
are all the titties?"
Immediate laughter was heard throughout the crowd. But I didn't ask it to be funny, I just really really really wanted to see that Heather bitch naked. Doug laughed and told me that there were scenes originally written in, but they never got filmed. He said there was one scene featured in the deleted scenes on the DVD though.
11:10 PM - Everybody leaves the theatre and goes out into the hallway. The Spookydudes Street Team takes some pics and the director signs some autographs. When we first meet, Doug raves about how great my Hunter S. Thompson shirt that I made was.
11:46 PM - After bullshiting at the theatre for awhile, we all made our way to the Art Gallery in center city Scranton. It was the afterparty of all afterparites. We drove around the same block like 5 times trying to find this fucking place.
"This is it?" I ask myself.
The crowded one room gathering, seems a bit cramped, and small. "There
has to be another room." I tell Duda who is swaying next to me. After
checking out all the women, I walk around a bit. We spot a door leading
down, and music coming up. We decend the stairs, and find ourselves in the
midst of a near mosh pit and blaring music. The band playing is Lugosis
Morphine. All band members are dressed like family members of Marilyn Manson.
We break out a backpack full of beer that we brought along, and continue
our stretch of mind indulging partying. I couldn't tell you how many beers
and cups of vodka I had during the course of the party. We ran out of the
beer we brought along fast. I don't know how I did it, but I kept ending
up with beers. I do remember somebody brining in a case of beer, then tossing
me two. For the life of me, I couldn't tell you if I knew the person or
not.
"Do you have any coke?" an unknown voice asked me. This is how I met Jay. Kid was already beyond fucked up, and was seeking more drugs. The two of us got into conversation, turns out we only live about 15 minutes from each other. But we had to travel 2 hours away to meet each other. Funny how shit works out, isn't it?
We got pretty cool during the night, and pretty fucking wild at times. We spotted a random passed out drunk kid in the middle of the party. After a few pics with him, we decided to play around a litte bit. I pulled out a Sharpie from my pocket, and began to draw on him. This attracted more and more people, everybody wanted a picture with the random unconcious drunk kid. Wasn't long before I was drawing mustaches on many of the people there.
2:30 AM - Fucking asshole gets kicked out for pissing on a painting. Blake punches him in the face, good shit.
Doug Sakmann was his name, cool fucking
guy. This guy worked for Troma before jumping into the director's shoes.
He can be seen in Citizen Toxie,
and a few other Troma classics. I have to tell you, this man is living the
life. Making cheesy horror movies and getting paid for it. The way you could
talk to this man, was like you knew him for years. At one point during the
afterparty, the two of us were pounding beer and vodka, talking about horror
movies and SFX in his movies. An original VHS copy of Sleepaway Camp was
sitting next to the TV. My eyes kept wandering over towards it, I remember
how bad I wanted to watch it. Since I'm trying to break into independent
filmmaking myself, I asked a few questions about the SFX. What they did
for the splatter effects in the movie, was pretty inventive. Doug tracked
down an old school fire extinguisher, filled it with his blood mix, and
used it for squirting blood effects. It looked damn good on camera. I was
also informed that the movies was shot digitally, as were the two sequels
he was working with. He mentioned what type of Digital camera he used, but
I can't remember what it was.
Doug was also cool enough to throw in an unfinished copy of Punk Rock Holocaust 2. I only got a chance to watch bits and pieces of it, there was alot going on. But it looked pretty true to the original. I'm guessing there is still alot of 2nd Unit Photography to complete. I'm pretty sure I saw that hot ass Heather chick in there somewhere. I'm sure I'll get more chances to party with Doug and a bunch of the other people who were there that night. We had too good of a fucking time not to do it again. I received an email from Doug, telling me to come over to his office in Philly. So I guess that's what I'll be doing something within the next week. Like Lloyd Kaufman, Doug makes a living off of blood and tits. Well not so much tits, yet.
"The mind and body must be subjected to extreme stimulus, by means of drugs and music."
Many of the people that night were
living it up for Hunter. In our circle, he was a very well-known and respected
individual. And I mean individual in every sense of the word. That man was
so unique, there will never be another like him. Jesus Christ, the man requested
to be cremated then his ashes be shot out of a cannon and sprinkled across
his estate. Doesn't get much more creative then that. I highly suggest everybody
pick up the Criterion Collection of Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. Just
listen to the commentary. You hear straight from the horses mouth how accurate
that movie was to his life.
The March 6th issue of Entertainment Weekly had an amazing article on Hunter, which I had to quote from. The article was titled "Going Gonzo". The quote you're about to read is about Hunter S. Thompson and Johnny Depp's first encounter with each other.
"The first time Johnny Depp met Hunter S. Thompson, their evening began innocently enough with drinks at a bar. By dawn, the pair were at the writer's Colorado compound, detonating tanks of propane gas with a 12-gauge shotgun."
4:00 AM - Afterparty ends, we get kicked out. I don't remember walking to the car or driving back to the hotel. We didn't know how the fuck to get back to the hotel, so I have no idea how we did.
Aprox. 5:00 AM - Too drunk to stand up, everything is spinning. Had to crawl to the bathroom.
1-2 Minutes Later - Accomplished my goal for the night, puked with a passion. I wanted to watch the movies I bought in the worst way. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't concentrate on the 7' Portable Region Free DVD screen.
It came to the point, where I had to close my eyes because my vision was so fucked up. Duda kept changing movies, but couldn't remember watching anything at all. Zeik and Ash put on a little performance in the shower. Since they were copulating in the bathroom, that meant the toilet was unavailable. The trash can was my next best friend. That's the last thing I remember. The next thing I saw, was "Peas" and "Corn"...